Today is the 23rd anniversary of the death of my brother in-law

April 8, 1990, we received a call from NY telling us that my wife's younger brother had been shot. We all piled into the car and started driving to New York from New Jersey. My wife was my pregnant with my first child at the time. When we go to Brookdale Hospital we were told he was in surgery. We were all relaxed thinking he will be fine. Then one of the doctors came and told us he did not make it.
I can't describe the pain in that hospital room. I went and looked at him for the last time. I could not believe that a young man in his prime could be struck down and gone.
He was DJ'n at a house party. His friends took his flash light and were shinning it into people faces. Some one took it away. When he asked about his flash light, they told him who took it. He asked that it be given back to him. An argument ensued. Words were exchanged. They separated. he went back to playing his music. The man he argued with came back and shot him. Stephen Burnett was the 2nd person he had murdered in two weeks. Stephen was 21 and had just enrolled at the aeronautical college in Laguardia Airport.
What makes the whole episode painful was the fact that we had come to Brooklyn, the night before. It was the week of the New York Auto show and usually Stephen and I would go. I saw his car, heard him playing music and did not call him. My wife did not go down to the basement to say hi like she normally does.

The one opportunity we had to speak to Stephen and maybe change destiny, we did not take.

Every day you are with your loved ones, hug them if you can. Say a kind word. Stop in and see them.

And most of all, stop sweating the small stuff.

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